Christian Living and ‘Self-Help’ Reading

Over the last year and a half, my reading journey, and especially in the yearly Challies Reading Challenge, has included several books in the category of Christian living, and specifically the area of counseling and what could be called ‘Christian self-help.’ Beginning with Martyn Lloyd Jones’ classic work, Spiritual Depression and a David Murray conference series, additional lectures, articles and books have explained and expanded on the topic: the Christian identity, and proper handling of our emotions and dealing with the trials of life.

Recent books in my Challies’ Reading Challenge include Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker,  Twelve Ways Your Phone is Changing You (a past free offer from ChristianAudio), and Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest by Ed Welch.  Some recent helpful online articles include these:
• From TableTalk Magazine February issue, Who Defines Your Joy?
• 10 types of thinking that undergird depression-anxiety
• In defense (somewhat) of self-help

Twelve Ways Your Phone is Changing You looks to the underlying heart issues behind phone use, including our tendency to distraction, and our need to feel accepted and to be part of the “in” crowd and not left behind. Though the main point has to do with the current technology (smart phones), the broader issue is how we use technology. Technology itself is not bad, and has been around since the early chapters of the Bible. Also, distraction is a tendency of our fallen nature, regardless of time and technology, as seen in the story of Mary and Martha, and Martha’s being distracted with the work of serving. Distraction is a way to avoid quiet and silence, the time needed to think about our soul and eternity, time to spend with God, for deep meditation.

Running Scared also provides good insights, to what is really behind our fears. What we’re afraid of reveals what we hold dear, such as money and what it provides, or fear of man (desire to not be persecuted; to be liked and loved). Such fears show that we are seeking this world and kingdom, not God’s kingdom. Welch points to the root behind many fears, and notes the answer; logical reasoning, or simply not thinking about the fear, does not really work. Instead, we replace the fears by focusing on what is more important—the fear of the Lord:

They [fears and anxieties] topple from their lofty perch and are replaced by what is more important. Whatever is most important is the thing that rules us. …You treat worries by pursuing what is even more important. Fear still reveals our allegiances, this time in a positive way. If we have a mature fear of the Lord, it means that we value and revere Him above all else. That’s how we fight fear with fear.

Regarding the transformation needed, to rely on the God of Rest:

Your task is not to transform into a superficial, sunny optimist. It is to grow to be an optimist by faith…. As for me, I want to watch and endure, not worry. I want to be like the night watchmen who are waiting to see first light. God is the God of suspense, but it is a suspense that teaches us peace. He is the God of surprises, but the surprises are always better than we could have dreamed. I can’t put Him in a box and assume that He should act according to my time schedule and according to my less sophisticated version of what is good. I need the mind of Christ. I can do with nothing less.

Wisdom often mentioned in these books, to continually remember—especially in response to the world’s way of reasoning: the Christian life is not about results, about seeing and achieving (what we think is) the right outcome.  The Christian life is about being faithful to God in the situation He has put each of us in; God is the one who determines the outcome. David Murray’s lectures about the LER (legitimate emotional response) versus SER (sinful emotional response) expand on this as well, explaining the importance of how we respond to disappointing life events.

These books (and articles) are helpful, providing good reminders along with great Bible application (such as from the lives of Bible characters) for dealing with the trials and discouragements of daily life.  My 2018 Challies Reading list includes two more books that should also prove interesting:  Scripture and Counseling: God’s Word for Life in a Broken World, by Bob Kellemen, and Speaking Truth in Love: Counsel in Community, by David Powlison, both oft-recommended Reformed Biblical counseling authors.

Praying the Psalms and Talking with God

Continuing on the topic of the Psalms, I have found a few more helpful resources.

• Logos’ Free Book of the Month for December is James Montgomery Boice’s Volume 1 of the Psalms (Psalms 1-41). (Boice’s audio series on the Psalms is also available, from Oneplace.com)
• From Bob Kellemen, this 75 page transcript of a set of seven sermons on the Psalms, How to Have an Honest Conversation with God

David Murray’s HeadHeartHand blog features Reformed-background biblical counseling authors including Bob Kellemen, a starting point that led to Kellemen’s website RPM Ministries, which has many resources including the ‘How to Have an Honest Conversation with God’ PDF.

Kellemen’s sermon series is easy to read, with hard-hitting (personal heart) content about how to relate to the Psalmist, as we learn from the Psalms how to relate to God, how to take our problems and many life difficulties to God.  The Christian life is not one of false joy, a stoic view that puts on a happy face and never complains to God about how hard life is.  The Psalmists are open and honest with God, and the point to learn is that we may not be happy with our circumstances, but to take our honest feelings to God – Ask, Beg, and then Thank God – and be happy in our circumstances.  I especially appreciate the references to Michael Card’s two songs (see previous post about Michael Card and the Psalms) from the Psalms (Psalm 13, ‘How Long?’, and Psalm 23, ‘My Shepherd’), as well as scripture references to other OT books such as Jeremiah and Lamentations.  Kellemen points out that the Psalms in fact contain more Lament type Psalms than any other type:

In Psalm 13, David begins his prayer life with the A of Asking God “Why?” and “How Long?” Now, immediately, some of us might respond, “No! You can’t ask God ‘Why?’ or ‘How long?’ That would be disrespectful.” That’s a fair question, so let’s ponder it biblically. Students of the Bible call Psalm 13 a psalm of lament or complaint. … there are more psalms of lament and complaint than psalms of praise and thanks. The first person I ever heard that from was the Christian songwriter, Michael Card. I love his music, but I had my doubts that he was right. I was sure there were more psalms of praise and thanks than psalms of lament.

… Here’s what Dr. Longman says. “Our spiritual songbook of Psalms does not contain 150 hymns of joy. As a matter of fact, a close look shows that the psalms of complaint and songs of accusation—the music of confusion, doubt, and heartache—significantly outnumber the hymns of joy. We may seek to flee from the feelings inside of us, but a look at the Psalms exposes them to our gaze.”

I still wasn’t convinced. So, I read and categorized every psalms. You know what I found? There are more psalms of lament, complaint, and asking God “Why?” than there are psalms of praise and thanks. I’d encourage you to do the same and see what you discover.

Sure enough, a googling of articles about the different types of Psalms (with some overlap) shows 67 of the lament type, compared to 52 psalms of the ‘praise’ (19) and ‘thanksgiving’ (33) categories, followed by other Psalm types: liturgical (35) and wisdom (11).

The variety within the Psalms itself indicates the variety and balance we need to keep — not completely focused on Lament, but not 100% focus on the joyful psalms to the exclusion of the other.  Kellemen’s series also reflects this, with consideration of the non-Lament psalms.  A podcast from Mortification of Spin also considers the Lament psalms within the broader context; churches that practice the singing of Psalms will, by the fact of using the Psalms, include both Lament and Praise within the corporate worship.  Churches that do not sing the Psalms, favoring non-Psalm hymns and contemporary songs, may neglect the Lament psalms with too much emphasis on the happy, joyful side — and should consider including Lament psalms, for a more biblically-balanced approach to corporate worship.